Underwhelming Stealing Cars Five Returns With Trailer, Caravan and Release Date

Los Lolantos, 03/11/2011 – Bouldermoon Games, today announced the announcement of the completion of its announcement. Yesterday saw the best of breed video games developer reveal the next installation in its popular and groundbreaking innovative series, Underwhelming Stealing Cars Five.

Underwhelming Stealing Cars Five, also known as Grand Purchasing Auto: May Edition, promises players the very latest in gaming technology. Gamers will find themselves inhabiting a virtual world full of people, cars and houses.  The earth-shattering aim of the game is to steal as many cars as possible.

Rock Star, Grand Theft Vice President of Innovation, Business Development Discussions, and Lunacy, said, “We are delighted that our fans our delighted. We’ve been working hard at making this the best GPA ever. Players will find themselves entering showrooms around the iconic city of Americatown before being tasked with bargaining with shady used car salesmen. It’s all about stealing, and by stealing, we mean purchasing a car for a price so low it can only be described as theft.”

Positioned as a bazooka-level parody on the American Nightmare, GPA: V will utilise subtle humour, clandestine social commentary and market leading ridicule technology to create a realistic setting that players have never seen before. Facial recognition technology and voice control through the breathtaking Connect iBox add-on will allow players to interact with the gaming cast like never before.

Rock Star continued, “We’re so excited for this. You can literally touch the hookers on the streets. We’re got an extremely hard working team who aren’t being let out of the office to ensure this makes its release date and is realistic in its presentation of sexual frustration.”

Finally, there’s confirmation through unnamed source, Madeup Man, that there’ll be pre-purchase downloadable content, microtransactions pre-release trailers and amusing hats that cost £11.99 each.

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Thanks to an unexpected early upgrade courtesy of T-Mobile, I’ve had the iPhone 4S since Thursday. Realistically there weren’t any doubts about getting one. Its Apps portfolio, time it saves and the design conscious industry I work in (PR & Marketing) were all factors driving a continued adoption of Apple. I’d had the 3GS for two years so the jump when upgrading to the 4S is more obvious. If you’re on an iPhone 4 I can’t really comment on whether it’s worth the upgrade.

Anyway, to the phone’s stand out points. The screen, speed and Siri.

Having endured the murky display of the third generation for so long, the jump in sharpness and clarity with the 4S is akin to standard definition TV to HD. It’s pin sharp, and with the glass display, beautiful to look at. And look at it you will. Applications, and games in particular, have suddenly taken on a new lease of life. Running iOS 5 on a 3GS was painful. The ageing hardware couldn’t cope with the intensive OS. The 4S is blindingly quick, especially when browsing the net on Safari.

On a side note, its ability to keep signal coverage and 3G connectivity has been vastly improved. I don’t hate my carrier anymore – I can actually call people and browse the net on the Tube. Also, the camera – 8MP quality, including HD video, is no mean feat on a device so small. It’s certainly going to give my Nikon D5000 a run for its money. I’m probably going to stop carrying so much kit around with me now.

Finally, Siri. Much has been discussed on the actual viability of voice recognition. Self-consciousness is going to be a factor for many, but as soon as inhibitions are removed, the potential is vast. I could dictate this post with Siri, I could set up a reminder to publish it, I could make an appointment to discuss it with someone. It works 95% of the time and the more you use it the smarter it gets.

So all in all it’s a cracking phone so far. I’ve always been a fan of getting the best device for the job – I don’t discrimate against any companies when it comes to hardware and Apple have done a fantastic job as demonstrated by their huge sales figures.

So. Cannes. That was fun. Guess what though – the fun doesn’t stop there. This week is the London International Technology Show and I’ve got a press pass for that. It’s a mega-convention of Mobile, Gaming, Gadgets, and everything else cool in the world.

One stall I’m particularly interested in is Bit Gamer’s. It’s going to have world exclusive playable code of Serious Sam 3: BFE. Oh yes. FPS goodness. There’s some official related information over here, but it’s more fun to look at the above screenshot.

The show (LITS for the cool kids) should be another great opportunity to talk technology with those who live and breathe it. Obviously if you’re after any coverage from the event, feel free to contact me on marco@marcofiori.co.uk. I’ll be there looking around for Bamboo PR on the Friday as well.

Say hi if you see me. Twitter for live updates.

A while ago I asked  Twitter what it thought of Halo and whether users were fans. The responses I got gifted me a a lightbulb moment – this is obviously a game that totally divided people. Marmite gaming you could say. So I wrote a feature on Halo and tried to draw a conclusion of just why it did this to people. This feature in fact. Head on over to Strategy Informer for a read.

The other camp sees it as mediocrity personified. A simplistic shooter with repetition as its drive. It oozes faeces from its pores. Master Grief. Every single cash-cow edition of the series damns it to gaming hell.

Ugly or understated beauty? Refined gunplay or Fisher Price shooting? Goosebump evoking score or aural abuse?

What did Halo do to receive such criticism? It’s no different from any other popular gaming series. Could it be the exclusivity – the faith in the Xbox brand? Traditionally single platform games take the most flak. Haze, Killzone, Halo – they’re there to divide gamers. Halo is the Grand Canyon of gaming – a deep gash across popular opinion.

I’ve written about my love of Torchlight and Titan Quest previously, so having a go at Crimson Alliance, the latest XBLA dungeon crawler for Strategy Informer made sense. Despite its sub-standard graphics (obviously my opinion), I had a blast. I’ve played through the campaign almost twice – that’s testament for the game. Anyway, my review is here and the usual quick quote:

With everyone focussed on October and November’s packed release calendar, Crimson Alliance is the perfect game to squeeze in before gaming gets busy again. It’s also a great title to return to when you’ve got fifteen minutes to kill, and kill you will.

Courtesy of Gamasutra

Remember this? Well, here’s the review I was talking about – I’m actually quite pleased with the quality of writing. The book’s good, but nothing more – it’s certainly a decent read and one that’s perfect for public transport.

While on the topics of games, how awesome does the debut trailer for Gearbox’s Aliens: Colonial Marines look?

Courtesy of ChrisYunker

So last Friday I teased an image. I kept the significance of this vague and while I announced I’d be going for a week on Facebook, I kept details intentionally hazy. So, the story.

A while ago, Jon from 3D Focus approached Bamboo PR for an interview with our client, Musion. Since then, we’ve become pretty good friends. Knowing I’m a keen photographer, and in a bit of conundrum, Jon approached me with a proposition.

3D Focus is a press partner of this year’s mipcom – a huge trade show for the world’s entertainment content market (think TV studios, networks, technology providers, etc). Jon’s without a videographer / photographer and needs show support with social networking, etc.

Wonderfully, he asked if I’d like to attend as his second in hand, kindly paying for accommodation and flights to Cannes.

Uncanny

Yes, Cannes, the beautiful bay that’s known for the international film festival.

Anyway, I then discussed it with work and we agreed it’d also be a great opportunity for us, so I’m going on business (and taking the Friday as holiday for ease of flights). I’ll be fully press accredited and hopefully talk to lots of interesting, exciting people.

Pretty cool huh?

It’ll be a lot of hard work, but a really good experience both personally and professionally (for 3D Focus, Bamboo, me, Jon, everyone). (Japan proved to be great for self confidence etc).

Updates when they come.

More on why I’ll be going here soon.

Courtesy of Gamasutra

I should hate anything like Bioshock – Rapture, the latest book tie-in from John Shirley. I did English Literature after all, a high-class degree that taught me methods of critique, analysis and written eloquence. Then again, I enjoy relaxing with mindless entertainment more often than not, and Rapture is just that. It cleverly, if sometimes hurriedly, pieces together a back story of Bioshock’s sunken city.

The game’s a fantastic piece of art – and yes, very few games can be given that title. It’s wonderful to read more narrative in such a rich universe. I won’t spoil the full review that’ll appear on Xboxer360 soon, but I enjoyed the book.

No sooner had I finished this, did I get even more exciting news. I’ve been writing for Macgasm the last two months and following some internal matters, they wish to focus on iOS gaming more, as well as Mac games. Who else would they look for? Me, silly. Therefore if you’re into iOS gaming and hate everyone over at Pocket Gamer, follow me instead M_Fiori. (Only kidding Keith, Mark & Mike!)

Pretty cool huh! I even get one of those email things that are all the rage nowadays: marco@macgasm.net.

Let the press releases begin! Thanks to all for the kind words.